Vacuum Boy |

Stupidest savant ever.

So I have a friend that grew up clubbing in Brighton, on the southern beaches of England. He likes to mention one particularly creepy man (I picture someone looking like Sebastian Horsley — a Brit who’s slept with ~1,300 women) who would pay women to place a carpet over his bare back and walk on it in high heels.

The logistics of how someone stumbles upon such a, uh…particular fetish continues to confound me.

That is, until now.

I’ve often wondered what it’s like to be a savant. Must be pretty great to remember a bunch of stuff really, really well (see, I’m not so good with the numbers or remembering things — just ask my lady).

There’s the Rain Man, Kim Peek (who sadly, recently passed).

You’ve got Daniel Tammet, who can recite Pi to more than 22,000 places.

And then there’s Vacuum Boy, 12-year-old Kyle Krichbaum of Adrian, Michigan. He’s a savant. Of the shittiest variety.

With 165 vacuums in his collection, this kid can recognize the make and model a vacuum by the sound it makes. Yeah. Really.

Jesus…it’s like being a superhero and your superpower is being able to fart silently. Substitute vacuums for high heels and I think we have a future creeper!

Anyway, here’s maestro in action: