“Here’s a murder rap to keep you dancin’
with a crime record like Charles Manson”
-Ice Cube.
Category Archives: WTF
Where will you be in 20 years?
Racist anti-racism ad.
Don't do this. The ad or the face. Just...don't.
Racism. It’s always unacceptable. Unless you’re trying to make a catchy ad. Then it’s fine.
Worst Hobby/Genius Possible: 12-year-old Vacuum Savant
Stupidest savant ever.
So I have a friend that grew up clubbing in Brighton, on the southern beaches of England. He likes to mention one particularly creepy man (I picture someone looking like Sebastian Horsley — a Brit who’s slept with ~1,300 women) who would pay women to place a carpet over his bare back and walk on it in high heels.
The logistics of how someone stumbles upon such a, uh…particular fetish continues to confound me.
That is, until now.
I’ve often wondered what it’s like to be a savant. Must be pretty great to remember a bunch of stuff really, really well (see, I’m not so good with the numbers or remembering things — just ask my lady).
There’s the Rain Man, Kim Peek (who sadly, recently passed).
You’ve got Daniel Tammet, who can recite Pi to more than 22,000 places.
And then there’s Vacuum Boy, 12-year-old Kyle Krichbaum of Adrian, Michigan. He’s a savant. Of the shittiest variety.
With 165 vacuums in his collection, this kid can recognize the make and model a vacuum by the sound it makes. Yeah. Really.
Jesus…it’s like being a superhero and your superpower is being able to fart silently. Substitute vacuums for high heels and I think we have a future creeper!
Anyway, here’s maestro in action:
Shorten your links and make them shady too!
ShadyURL: Shorten and sketch-out your links!
How do you shorten links for sharing on Twitter, your blog, or elsewhere? Think HootSuite is the bee’s knees? Are you more of a TinyURL traditionalist? A crunchy Bit.ly enthusiast?
If you’re interested in getting “meta” and sardonically teasing your web-friends, give ShadyURL a try.
Would you rather click on:
http://ow.ly/1bjNp
-or-
http://5z8.info/stalin_n1w1g_how-to-skin-a-gerbil
Exactly.
Learn how to make a pile of trash sound like a shitty trumpet
How to Make a Trumpet.
This video, for me, encompasses the very essence of comedy.
Even before the video begins, we are imbued with the impression of legitimacy. As a collaboration between eHow.com and Expert Village, one might expect sage advice.
For two minutes and ten seconds, Annie calmly walks us step by step through the process of making a trumpet. First, cut the two-liter. Next, attach said two-liter to a length of hose-pipe via duct tape. You may need to shorten the hose-pipe for ease of holding. These all seem fairly clear cut. After all, she’s an expert.
The pivotal moment comes as she prepares to play. She puts the horn to her lips and blows extremely hard, and in a singular instant of raucous travesty, you finally realize that you just watched a woman tape garbage together.
Sheer unrivaled genius.