My brain can’t even process this right now. Lin Yu Chun and William Shatner sing a duet of “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” Chun exploded on the scene with his better-than-Whitney-live performance of Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You.”
Check this out while I get back to letting my head explode:
Interns are not playthings to be toyed with, despite what Olivia Munn and the folks at Asylum think. It’s nice they could take time from slapping kittens to take a turn at poor intern Kyle, though.
What’s most impressive about this is how well Ms. Munn performed her piece, and all without a teleprompter! It was suspiciously natural looking, except the last part where she has to… ew… touch him, but we can just hide back behind the cutesy persona again for that. “I’ll just use my simultaneously soft and firm, warm, body to remedy the nationwide humiliation I just put you through, and boost ratings for my Axe ad – I mean website! – at the same time! Hee hee!”
Way to take one for the team Kyle, and we would like you to know that there is an Intern Dignity Restoration team on their way to you, hang in there. If your love for Olivia makes it too hard to hate her, take solace in the fact that it was your employers at Asylum that made her do it. What a peach of a team they have over there. Lucky you, Kyle.
And just in case Olivia actually did think you were cute and liked your bow-tie, there’s no need to go get self-assured or confident. Your bow-tie will be confiscated.
Nubrella: Look a fool. A dry, hands-free fool.
That’s right. You too can look like a pod person thanks to Nubrella (I’ll give $10 to the first person who takes a picture of themselves with an iPod in their Nubrella…whoa, meta — submit pics to info@internwhisperer.com).
These $35 new umbrellas (nu-brella!) are apparently, like, so much better than regular umbrellas because they allow you to use two hands instead of one. That, and the nearly full-body protection Nubrella provides will leave you feeling safe, secure and isolated from your environment and people around you like some kind of urban Bubble Boy.
Check out the demo video below. Good luck navigating New York City streets with an enormous bubble on your head. Though offering shelter from the weather to a lady-friend may offer new levels of intimacy if that’s your game plan you chivalrous dog, you.
Jake Gyllenhaal extols the virtues of bubblehood.
Chan Ho Park: About to burst.
Pitchers, and really athletes in general, have their on days and their off days. BUT, sometimes consistency is elusive and it can be tough to squeeze out solid results.
Just ask New York Yankees relief pitcher Chan Ho Park. One day he blows it. The next he pitches 3 hit-less innings. What’s the dilio Chan Ho?
Gotta get more fiber in that diet, Chan. And for more fun at the expense of Mr. Park: Chan Ho Park in Compromising Positions (dot com).
KFC’s Double Down… Your Prayers Have Been Answered
Finally, somebody listened
...then they listened harder. Why, god? Why?
One of my new lady friends was recently diagnosed with celiac disease (when delicious gluten eats away the lining of your intestines causing a laundry list of symptoms, some of my favorites include: bruising easily, irritability, and unexplained short stature). Anyway, she must now follow a lifelong diet of gluten-free foods, making eating out with her nearly impossible.
No doubt has this severely strained our relationship. We’ve tried to work around it. It’s just not the same. The dynamic has been lost. As soon as I was about to give up entirely on this chick, KFC unveiled their new “sandwich” The Double Down yesterday, a bread-less answer to all my prayers.
Problem solved.
Most likely conceived by the heavenly version of the Colonel, the Double Down is two pieces of bacon and two pieces of cheese, sandwiched neatly by two boneless chicken breasts (2 of everything!). YES!
Then there’s the new variant: The Krispy Kreme Double Down. Because why wouldn’t you add donuts to the mix? Up next: The Camel Light Krispy Kreme Pennzoil Double Down Super Size Meal.